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Scientists Find Nightmare Inducing Faceless Fish

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A bizarre fish without a face has been discovered in Australia. Apparently the fish was discovered after a massive trawling excursion into the depths of the abyss off of the coast of Sydney. As we send satellites into space to find new galaxies, we have yet to adequately explore the depths of our own oceans here on our own planet earth. Who knows what can be lurking thousands of feet from sea level? As researchers go deeper, the creatures get weirder.

The 16″ fish was found over 2 miles below sea level by scientists working for the Australian government’s Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organization Aka, CSIRO. Tissue samples have been taken from the fish-like creature to determine its genetic origins. Over 2 miles below the surface might as well be hell because that’s where this thing looks like it came from. It appears to have a mouth underneath its head and 2 small nostrils, but nothing else. Scientist Tim O’Hara told the The Guardian that faceless fish was a polite way of saying “a fish with two butts.” and admitted that “it looks like two rear-ends on a fish, really.”

Scientists may think they know what they have found, but it looks like it could be the star of some aquatic horror movie. These fish creatures look like they can be some kind of double-sided leech that sucks blood from its two anuses. The made for TV movie would start with the faceless fish spawning in hell and creeping up into the ocean through a crack in the ocean floor. After the scientific discovery they slowly start to take over parts of Australia and New Zealand, sucking double blood from their two anuses, wiping out entire populations before going on to takeover the Pacific Ocean. The movie would air on the SYFY network and star some of the actors from Being Human and the Lost Girl and to maintain its edge their would be some kind of succubus mating with the fish with two anuses in geometric yoga poses.

In actuality, scientists “think” that they have rediscovered this fish that has not been seen in over a century. The original Challenger expedition of 1872-1876 found and identified a fish that resembles what scientists have found today, which they dubbed the “Faceless Cusk.” The fish was also discovered in parts of the Arabian Sea and Papua New Guinea, but have not been seen in over 100 years. Maybe the two anus fish is a time traveler?

Researchers admit that the coast of Australia, like most of the earth’s waters have not been surveyed and there is a great mystery about what can be found in terms of new aquatic life. O’Hara went on to say that “the experts tell me that about a third of all specimens coming aboard are new, totally new too science.” While all might not be as horrendous as the fish with no face it is still nonetheless, very exciting. The current expedition ends on June 16th unless the fish with two anuses takes over the ship and the world.

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